First, we must not forget that both partners should have these qualities. Any Christian who is serious about marriage should possess and be cultivating these virtues in themselves. An old friend of mine used to like to say, “Try to be what you want others to be.” Adopting this stance keeps us humble and teachable, and undermines a critical spirit (Matt 7:3–5). Second, no human being is going to, even remotely, approach perfection on any of these qualities. Many of us have failed miserably in the